“If God has given me a problem, He will give me a solution...”
...says Neerja Malik – founder of the Apollo Cancer support group. She shares how she battled breast cancer twice
“On Feb 2, 1998, I felt a slight twinge on my left breast and discovered a really tiny pea-lump. Having been a obsessive compulsive aerobics practitioner, I disregarded it as a muscle pull. 10 days later, whilst getting a massage done, I discovered that this small pea-sized lump had become rather large.
I called up Apollo hospital immediately and even though there weren’t any doctors available for consultation, I was insistent and was eventually given a thorough check-up by one of the senior doctors. He discovered another lump in my armpit that I didn’t know existed. I was asked to retrieve my mammogram test, done the previous year, and was also told to get an FNAC (Fine Needle Aspiration Cytology) done.
The hospital was unable to immediately retrieve my tests of the previous year (because after 6 months, hospitals delete test reports from their data). However, I left my contact numbers in case in hope of them finding the report, and left. On reaching home, for the first time, I took my cell phone into the massage room and that was when the Doctor, himself called me. The FNAC was urgent and had to be done immediately, contrary to what I understood - a common mistake made by several people."
Friday, February 13, Malik was told she had cancer. As her parents and extended family live in Mumbai, the operation was scheduled for February 18. "I went directly to the hospital from the airport. The operation was followed by 6 strong radiations, over the next few months as well as 36 radiations. As my twins were then seven-year-olds, I did not want to leave them alone. So I would come to Mumbai for two to three days, get my chemotherapy done as return to Chennai," says Malik.
Support
"I received so much support during this period. Being part of a support group made me realise that I wanted to help people suffering from this disease. I wanted to start my own support group in Chennai."
When she shared this dream with a member from the support group, she was told not to do so, as people would be discouraged if the battle with cancer was lost! But this would not deter Malik from her goal. “I believe people should always do something they believe in,” says Malik who strongly believed in her dream.
"It is best to keep oneself busy during the recovery period,"shares Malik adding that she had enrolled for a Reiki course on February 14 and 15. "I gave them a call and told them that I wouldn’t be able to make it. They were very supportive and said that they would conduct group therapy Reiki and distant healing on me. I took cd’s and was prepared to spend my recovery time learning Reiki. For an hour and 45 minutes I would listen to tapes and perform self-Reiki.
Several people visited me at the hospital. The day after my operation, my room was filled with family and relatives and there were more people in the reception, who weren’t allowed upstairs due to the crowd already present in my room. So I decided to go downstairs and meet them instead. On my way back up, not knowing that I was a patient, the guard stopped me, telling me that I couldn’t go in to my room, because it was already full of visitors. It was an unintentional compliment that made my day."
The relapse
"In November 2004, breast cancer had relapsed. Whilst lying down on my front, I felt the same twinge and lump I had felt 4 years before and knew at once that it had to be checked. My children had their ninth standard exams on and I didn’t want them to know about this relapse. So, I went to Mumbai for my surgery, and told them that it was because of the support group I was heading. I lied to them, telling them that I was making a website for my support group. Everyday, I would make up names of different restaurants and tell them I was eating at those places; whilst I was actually recovering from the surgery with hospital food.
A family get-together in December had been planned, all year long. 42 family members, from all over the world, were going to bring in the New Year. On hearing about my illness, some of them decided to back out; however I insisted, telling them to give me something to look forward to. Though I only had the energy to move about my room, it felt satisfying to be present amongst the lively spirit of my family.
My first chemotherapy took place on December 15 and I began losing my hair on December 31, 2004. Chemotherapy the second time was stronger than before and therefore I began losing my hair on the 15th day after chemotherapy as opposed to the earlier treatment."
Starting a support group
"My motivation to start a support group came not only from my perseverance but also from friends and family. The evening of the second surgery, November 23, 2004, my friend called to let me know that his wife had just been diagnosed with cancer. I immediately unloaded all the lessons I had learnt till then – how to be positive, and to never give up hope, informing him of the great medications available these days to counter the effects of chemotherapy. The amazing part of this conversation was that I was just out of anaesthesia and I still had the ability to lend a helping hand to my friend. His wife found the advice I lent at that hour so helpful that she didn’t feel the need to join a support group. It was moments like these that gave me the strength and courage to set up a support group.
Beginning the Apollo Cancer Support Group (ACSG)
On returning to Chennai after the operation, I was called by Apollo Hospital to speak to a patient going through the cancer ordeal. And thus the idea of starting the Apollo Cancer Support Group germinated. Being a graduate in social work, a B.Ed (Bachelor of Education) and enjoying conversations enabled her to bond with patients instantly. ACSG first began with the vision that only survivors would lead this group, however, many survivors, having been treated at Apollo hospital, harboured negative memories and backed out of the group. Left with five people, then on it was decided that the group would be lead by anyone who had the ‘humane’ touch and a listening ear.
ACSG was officially started on March 8, 2004 and Malik who heads it, is counselling the cancer patients and their family members to face this disease. “Patients become my very good friends, and I feel very lucky to be able to reach out give hope, letting them know that ‘this too shall pass’.
How does she deal with people who are extremely depressed and have lost all hope? Malik confidently replies, “It is very important to get to know the person and his/her history. Confidentiality is a given as a counsellor. I take the trouble to find out what is blocking the person from changing his/her perception. For after all, ‘it’s all in the mind’. Positive thoughts, laughter and a healthy spirit creates a miraculous change in the human body, giving it the power to heal and discard unnecessary, harmful toxins and cells. I truly believe that if God has given me a problem, He will give me a solution.”
Neerja Malik was awarded a Positive health award on November 11 at the St Andrews Auditorium, Bandra. This award was presented by Dr Batra's Positive Health Clinic Pvt. Ltd.
Neerja Malik was awarded a Positive health award on November 11 at the St Andrews Auditorium, Bandra. This award was presented by Dr Batra's Positive Health Clinic Pvt. Ltd.
Click on the following link to watch Dr. Batra's Positive Health Awards 2009
